To Get Dressed…

I hate Tuesday mornings now….

I used to love them as I was woken by kisses from the most amazing man…….but since his work has changed we no longer get our one night together, our last one was at the beginning of December, and neither of us realised that it would be our last.  It’s been 2 months since we’ve spent any decent time together, and I miss him, our conversations that we do get, snatched in between work, family etc are short and mostly consist of sending smilies via bbm.  Very unsatisfying.  We have snatched a couple of hours here and there, but they just come down to sex, the lack of proper time is really starting to get to me now.  It wasn’t like we had a lot of ‘quality’ time anyway, but that one night a week was wonderful, and we could chat on msn two or three times a week in the evenings too.  Our conversations were sexy, random, revealing, and just incredible and never dull.  Maybe I’m hoping for too much, but I desperately miss that conversation with him.

I am also desperate for a full time job, for financial reasons, as well as knowing that it would take my mind off him, even if for a short time.  It would fill in some of this time when I’m alone, I was never meant to be alone.  I spent the last few years of my marriage feeling lonely, and although I don’t want a man full time (well not yet anyway), I do want someone to cuddle up with on the sofa a couple of times a week, some adult conversation, and just some support.  He does his best, he tells me he believes in me all the time, how much he loves me and how strong I am.  But they are just words and in the beginning they meant everything to me, now I need actions……….

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. John
    Jan 10, 2012 @ 12:44:04

    I envy your experience of being woken with kisses, I’ve never had that although I’ve been married twice. They were never that kind of relationship. There’s been great fondness and companionship but never devotion or sexual need. Perhaps I sold myself short, but I don’t regret it. There have been many compensations and I’m not sure that anyone could feel that way about me or vice versa.
    It must be tough to lose something like that once you’ve sampled it’s fruits.
    Finding that elusive job is a tough nut to crack and only bloody minded determination is going to solve that problem.
    I’m sure you have what it takes to do that though, your lovers belief in you is not misplaced.

    Reply

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