Leaving?

Weird weekend turned out to be ok on Sunday…..eventually.

The training ride was a bit of a bust, I got totally left behind and ended up taking a short cut back. I can do the distance but not at the speed that was set. I feel that sometimes the more experienced cyclists forget that we don’t all ride at 20 miles an hour!

So after getting over that, then working my way through the housework T arrived just before 5, with champagne and roses…..not bad, even if they did come from Tesco’s! Essentially we were celebrating our two-year anniversary. We chatted, did some sexy stuff and had dinner then snuggled on the sofa watching telly. All absolutely lovely. And that is what I miss, I never really had it with my ex-husband, but did begin to get used to it with T when we first got together.

Now bed is another matter….no more sexy stuff which I have to say left me feeling a little unsatisfied, especially as he likes to curl round me as we fall asleep, but having this gorgeous naked man wrapped around me is incredibly distracting….I find it hard to sleep that way so only doze and never feel very rested the following morning. And because he had to be up early and in London by 7.30 there was no sexy stuff in the morning either. Now don’t get me wrong I don’t need to have sex constantly, but our time to gether is so rare and I find him so incredibly sexy I do want to make the most of the time.

All in all ,as lovely as it as having him for that brief time, it just isn’t enough…..and last night and today I’m still feeling very flat. I just can’t put my finger on the problem. I did have a nice chat with a work colleague this morning who was great, and as most people have said to me, she thinks i need to ask him what is going to happen. I know I need to, but it is such a hard question to ask, I don’t want to spoil any of our limited time together, but for my own sanity I need to know.

I think the main question is: Will he ever leave his wife and family? If he doesn’t intend to then he needs to tell me so I can then decide if I can continue as we are of if I do need more.