Life Doesn’t Always Suck

So, laying awake in bed at 3 this morning I had an epiphany, well not so much of a revelation really, but realised I have been very much ‘woe is me’ recently. I think it’s all relative, but at the end of the day (god how I dislike those clichéd sayings) I do have a job, a roof over my head (which is my own) a loving child and an amazing and supportive network of family and friends (though I am often too proud to ask for help).

There are people who are so much worse off and I know some that are. Yet they seem to just keep on living and surviving. They don’t know if they will have a home from one day to the next, unsure where the next meal is coming from and how to clothe their kids. But they do, and with a lot less complaining than me….

So I think I need to pull myself together, pull my socks up, buck my ideas up (yeah, yeah, more clichés) and start looking at what I have to be grateful for, rather than what I don’t.

Oh and then I had to get up and go for a wee, only to find the cat had already done one, on the bathroom mat…..

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I Shouldn’t Worry…..

Following on from this mornings very tired blog, I’m now blogging being very tired this evening. I came across this earlier: http://sleepyti.me/ and it recommends certain sleep patterns. Which is all very well, but it suggests I should aim to fall asleep at 10.15 or 11.45pm or 1.15 or 2.45am. 10.15pm is too early and 11.45pm is too late….perhaps I need to wake up at a different time….other than 12.30am, 2.30am. 5.30am etc…

I’m hoping to sleep better tonight, the pills aren’t making me feel so sick anymore, though I’m hoping they will just be a short-term thing. I really don’t like the idea of taking anti-depressants. I was prescribed them a couple of times during my marriage and I’m hoping that the need for them now is just temporary. T and I are kind of talking again, he is working stupidly hard apretty much 24/7 so that does make it hard. He hasn’t found time for our ‘chat’ either. Possibly due to work commitments or maybe just avoiding it, who knows? My money worries are unlikely to go away any time soon. On the quiz show Pointless two guys won the jackpot of £24,750, my daughter asked where they lived so we could mug them……I hate that my worries are rubbing off onto her, it seems so unfair to make an almost teen be worrying about money. But then again it is good that she realises my purse is not bottomless. And as for Aston, well we have worked out that if we make him play about half eight for a while he tends to sleep a little better!!

Life will get better….it has to…..I have to believe that.

Sleep, Sleep, Wherefore art thou Sleep?

Sleep is eluding me at the moment.  For the last couple of weeks I haven’t slept properly at all, although sometimes it can take me a while to get to sleep, I usually sleep a good 7 -8 hours.

I think it comes down to several colliding factors.  My relationship struggles with T, Aston (my new cat) still settling in, money worries (who doesn’t have those) and the new anti-depressants my doctor has prescribed me.

I just want to sleep.

I just want to be able to stay asleep.

My job is a pretty physical one so my body feels tired at the end of the day, but my brain seems incapable of switching off.  I just don’t know what to do next….

A New Man In My Life

Not of the two legged variety though, he has four legs a tail, claws and purrs!

He came with the name Ceefor, my daughter and I would prefer to call him Aston, but he doesn’t seem to answer to much apart from strokes!  And at this precise moment is quite put out that I’m not paying him any attention. Though he seems to have discovered his food bowl, by the sounds coming from the kitchen. So like all men really….attention seeking and wanting a full stomach….I love it!

We didn’t even mean to get him, we have been thinking about it for a while and I had said only friday that I#d look into what goes in to adopting a rescue cat this week.  Then in my local paper I noticed there was a re-homing day on at a local cattery on Saturday, so off we trotted.  Ceefor/Aston was the first cat they showed us,  a 10-year-old tabby, and he took to my daughter straight away, which is saying something as she is a scary child sometimes.  She  gets a bit over excited around animals….god knows why though.  Any way we looked at a couple of others, one, a gorgeous little black and white one year old who also seemed ok with my daughter, but my heart had already fallen for the old boy.

So after filling out forms and having a home check and the previously mentioned trip to the pet shop we were all ready to go. All a bit of a surprise really. but it was a long weekend without Lizzie and waiting for Aston.  But picking him up today was great, just watching him explore his new home and he seems to have found his spot on the sofa already.

I know he will keep me better company than any other male, and as independent as cats can be he  is an old boy so all he wants is to eat and sleep and be petted lots.

Something for Me

A couple of my friends have noticed I’ve been very down lately and they believe it is due to T, not giving me what I need or want. I think thet’re probably right, but whatever their views on him they all seem to be saying I need to do something for me that is nothing to do with him. So I took my daughter out this morning and we adopted a cat! We have wanted a cat for sometime, but the time has never really seemed to be right.  In the paper yesterday I noticed a homing show was on today and thought we’d go along and get an idea of what was involved….so with my bank balance £55 lighter (thanks to Pets At Home) and soon to be £60 lighter for the adoption fee, we will be collecting Ceefor on Tuesday.

Ceefor….an odd name for a cat, my step brother helpfully said ‘C for Cat’, bless….. The lovely people at the adoption centre were thrilled he’s going to a home as he’s 10, most cats of his age struggle to find a home, but he passed the scary child…I mean my wonderful daughter test, so all should be good.  In fact I can hardly wait.  I sounds kind of selfish, but having a bit of cat company on the nights my daughter is at her dads will be lovely.

Ceefor will not solve all my problems I know, but he will help I am sure.