Thoughts on Dating Websites…..

There are a huge variety of dating sites out there, they seem to cater for any kind of person you may fancy. There are the main stream ones like Plenty Of Fish, and e-harmony, then somewhat less mainstream ones, these include ‘sex sites’. It is through one of these (primarily aimed at married people) that I met T.  As I have said in earlier posts though, we were looking for company of the opposite sex but it developed in to something more. I’m not going to talk about him today though.

It seems different people have very differing views on how these sites work. I have a very good single female friend who is just over 40 and she has tried most of the well known dating sites over the last couple of years. She hasn’t had much luck (she is incredibly picky) but that has led her to think that men have it so easy and can have their pick of women. On the other hand I have a male friend who tends to use the sex sites more, and in his experience and the extensive research he has done, the women vastly outweigh the men and so the women get to have their pick of the men.

In my limited experience men do seem to be out for one thing only no matter what site they’re using.  It does send out mixed messages as I’m sure there are men out there looking for a genuine new relationship and not just a one night stand, but they get lumped in with all the guys looking for a one night stand.  And on the other side of the coin there are women out there who are looking for nothing more than sex, and then can’t understand why men won’t give them more.

All of these sites are becoming more and more commonplace and less stigma is attached to using them, but people need to be much more honest about what they’re looking for so real matches and new relationships can be formed.  And me?  If T and I do call it a day what will I do?  I would really like to think that I could meet someone in real life….


T is an Arse

So my best friend A said the other day, and that pretty much sums it up.

He flew home today, to the UK and his family that is, not me. He’s been away for the best part of two weeks because work had got critical or something. So we’ve hardly spoken at all during this time and for some weeks previously too. This evening he decided to ask me how work was going and I know he was trying to start a conversation, but all I could give was simple replies. I feel mean, but I’ve got out of the habit of constantly messaging him and because we’ve spoken so little I just don’t know what to say anymore. It’s not that we don’t have conversation…..we have never run out of things to talk about, but I hope he’s coming to realise that we have other things we need to talk about. Though I get the feeling he is trying to avoid it by burying himself in work.

So I’m getting used to life without him constantly messaging me, and me him.  It’s not easy, I feel like I’m missing something, like my left arm.  He has been an enormous part of my life for the last two years and I don’t want to lose him, but unless he stops being an arse and sorts himself out he will lose me I fear.

Could this be more interesting?

I really think I need to look into making my blog  little more interesting, perhaps with pictures and web links.  The trouble is, this blog is mostly anonymous and most of the links I would post would not only give away where I live but also what I do.  I’m going to have to think about that a bit more.  In the meantime I will try to add some pictures  when I find relevant ones.  All feedback and comments are most welcome.

To a certain extent I find writing my thoughts a good way of letting out all the things I can’t in other ways.  My daughter has even taken to asking if I’ve written my blog that day. 

It’s been a good week all in all, work was challenging but fun, and that’s the way I like it.  It’s certainly never boring that is for sure.  The patchwork quilt I’m making for my daughter is coming along lovely now and I’m hoping to have it finished this weekend so I will post a picture when it is completed.

I may even have broken through a barrier with my on/off lover…….

Oh but I haven’t told you the funniest thing that happened, so M is my single parent friend and she is on and off POF (Plenty of Fish) the dating site and she because she wants to show me the guys she’s chatting to I set up an account, purely for this purpose.  Now yesterday I was at a bit of a loose end so I thought I’d have a look on it, I hadn’t received any messages which wasn’t a surprise as I have no photo on there, but I had been ‘viewed’ buy four guys……one of whom just happens to be my ex-husband……….

Not so boring after all…..

Well considering this weekend was supposed to be lonely and boring I haven’t stopped…..

After M turning up friday evening for a takeaway and a chat, I ended up staying up to watch a terrible film on tv, it was so bad I can’t even remember the title and that isn’t like me at all.  Saturday I did a decent bit of housework before a lovely shopping trip, again with M.  Bought a bargain dress in Debenhams sale, very pleased with it I am too!

On friday i bought a whole load of oddments of fabric with the view to making a patchwork quilt for my daughter, so looking at the one I made for myself 20 years ago I thought i had the shape correct, but it would appear I got confused with my hexagons and octagons….hexagons do fit into each other, octagons don’t!  So without realising this I sewed a whole load together, then trying to piece them together I realised the stupid mistake I had made, so spent all saturday evening unpicking…..and this afternoon putting it all back together….

And to top it all off on my 10 mile training ride this morning it actually hailstoned!!!  That really was most unpleasant.



At last….back to work….with a vengeance! I usually work mornings or afternoons and only occasionally both. So after 2 weeks of doing very little I am now completely shattered. I spent the morning helping a colleague tidy and stock take a container full of….well junk, but felt very productive and plays to all my strengths, (OCD, and organising and sorting). Then a quick lunch and back out on my bike work, though that was cut short due to the very cold weather. Picked the child up from school took her to get her hair cut, finally home to have to then organise her for her weekend away with her dad.

My good friend M has just left after a lovely catch up over a takeaway with Top Gun burbling away in the background. Our original plan was to go out, but I pleaded tiredness and the fact it’s bloody freezing out as good reasons to stay in. So even though it will be a long weekend on my own I’ve had good company to start it off. Beddy byes time for me now…..nighty night xx

New Friends….

So I’ve not blogged for a few days, busy (again) and not really had much to say to be honest.  I found this process very therapeutic at the beginning and think I may just dip in and out as and when required now….

I belong to a dating site, that is less about actual dating than meeting  up for a bit of the other (if you get my meaning?).  Through this site and under various pseudonyms I have met some very interesting people.  I have met the man – my man….and also others.  Some were very much to scratch a mutual itch.  Some were potential friends with benefits (which never quite worked out for one reason or another) .  And others have turned into really good friends.  Well one in particular, he’s somewhat older than me and very much out of my normal area.  But I was lured in by a beautiful, well written and intelligent diary entry, and one message to him about his entries and a good friendship sparked. 

 We eventually managed to set a date to meet, purely as friends.  It was one of the loveliest, most relaxed looooooong lunches I’ve had in, well ages!  I admit I was rather nervous about meeting another man, since I’ve become so heavily involved with mine.  But a big hug and a present of chocolate and the ice was broken.  Now, although I do prefer tall slim men, I try to keep an open mind to other types, and he is tall and very slim!  We had the most wonderful conversation and covered god knows how many subjects, only marred by the untimely interruption of a message from my man to say he’s going away Monday for ten days.  So after a little hiccough and much apologising on my part we soon got back on track.

I have to say for an older guy in an age group I wouldn’t normally consider he was lovely.  Not sure I found him as sexually attractive as I was hoping to, but never say never…..

(oh and I know he’ll be reading this….so don’t get too many ideas you!!!)


Woo Hoo, got my car back, ok so it came to far too much money, but it’s working better than ever!  So almost worth all the hassle  and the £12 taxi fare to school this morning….also it does mean my trip up the M1 on sunday will be a little more happy, won’t be worried about calling out those lovely men in their orange vans…

Speaking of…it’s looking set to be an epic few days…..

Tomorrow, usual Saturday things with my daughter, then she’s off to her dads and my friend M and I are off out!  Dinner at a pub first, then back to hers to get all pretty, well as best as we can, before hitting the casino…..she’s hoping for men with money, more like men losing money….but should be a good night.  Staying over at hers so we can have a proper de-brief in the morning. 

Then I think I’ll need a nap, as I get to spend 2 nights in a row with my man!  I think he’s wants to make up for last time (if you’ve read previous entries you’ll know).  And I want to make the most of it too!!!

Back home early tuesday for work, and then my amazing step brother (who knows people, if you know what I mean) is taking my daughter and I off to the ballet in London, and because he knows people we get to go backstage after….can’t even begin to describe how excited my daughter is….

Anyway more of those as they happen….Wishing you all a happy weekend too xxx

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